Oh wow it’s been a while. Life update: my cat died which is really sad but hey look I’m still cute
LOOK AT THESE COLOSSAL FUCKIN LEMONS FROM THE TREE MY BROTHER HAS PEED ON EVERY DAY SINCE HE WAS LIKE 5 YEARS OLD
im laughing/crying i dont want any more messages about this listen up you fucks apparently pee makes citrus plants grow well he learned this from a movie called the world’s fastest indian it is a very good movie starring sir anthony hopkins a highly inspirational film you will be compelled to purchase a lemon tree sapling and see a man about a dog on it every day for the rest of your life and you will be blessed with lemons the size of footballs. yes we ate the pee lemons.
when life gives u lemons
pee on themMore like, pee on life until it gives you lemons
let me tell you if you are dating me its gonna be an experience
me
crime investigation show
hacker: im booting up the computer
detective: in ENGLISH god damn it !
Anonymous asked:
hi! we don't really talk but i just saw your post. what's wrong?
Do you mind coming off anon? It’s okay if you don’t want to I’d just rather a private conversation. Thanks for caring either way
- me: -cooking something-
- me: -reads directions on box-
- me: ok -throws the box in the trash-
- me: ...... -picks the box out of the trash-
my favorite part of sleepovers is when its like 4 am and everyone is laying down trying to go to bed and its silent and then someone says something like “ass butter” and we’re so tired that we can’t stop laughing
